I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
