We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
