Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You have to summon your inner elephant
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
