I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
