It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
