Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I did not marry a roomba.
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