all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
