bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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