I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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