do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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