oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
