it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
