I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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