oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
