Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
