sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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