I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
