yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
