He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i've created a new STD.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
