I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
