i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
