Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize