Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
