You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
