I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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