explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
