p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
