Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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