Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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