sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
