Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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