what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She said her name was "party"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
operation have a gay friend backfired
smell my finger.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
