tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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