I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize