Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
