Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
