I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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