That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
