Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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