And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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