I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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