Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
