So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
