drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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