i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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