I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
