girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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