Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
