physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
