so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
