There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
