She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
