I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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