Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my poor anus
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
