Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
