that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
