Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
