She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need to calm my uterus...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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