We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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