Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
