She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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