If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
