I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
